In reality, this was a pitiful ploy to take a soft toy to school, which I do not allow. When confronted with this reality, she had a complete meltdown. "Fashion designers carry cute pets with them all the time, Mom!" she wailed, tears streaming down her face. "Sometimes," I replied, "but never when they work and never pink teddy bears. Put it upstairs, Riley." I have to be firm about this kind of thing, because she has a very strict teacher in school and she would get in serious trouble.
Meltdown commencing. And continuing. On and on and on.
I've been telling this child for four years now that she needs to work on self-control. Giving her the help I can, praise when it calls for it, and correction when needed. I'm out of ideas.
Anyone out there got suggestions?
I am no pro at this, b/c I call on you for advice, but maybe you should have let her take the pink stuffed animal and then allowed her to suffer the consequences w/the teacher. (Maybe you could give the teacher a head's up) The teacher takes the stuffed animal and Riley gets to see first hand what it's like to NOT follow the rules. You could talk w/the teacher and have her keep the stuffed animal for longer than the day...maybe a six week period OR until the end of the year??? Just a suggestion. When you know it's something that won't harm her, let her do it and suffer the consequences of making wrong choices.
ReplyDeleteI really like the suggestion above, esp. if it's done with advance notice to the teacher. I'm not sure why bringing a stuffy toy to school is a big deal for the teacher, but if it is, let Riley deal with the consequences. Then you're not the bad guy (or gal). It might be interesting to ask the teacher why stuffies are not allowed. Once you understand that, then you could help Riley understand it.
ReplyDeleteI actually think, to a degree, that "questioning authority" is a good thing. Many senseless rules got changed because people challenged them. All the boys in my school had to swim nude in high school for reasons unknown. Someone must have challenged it and now boys don't have to swim nude. Of course, challenging all rules simply because they are rules is pointless. Rules provide security. Some kids challenge rules unconsciously hoping that the rule stands because that makes for a more secure world. Good luck with this!
It's not only a teacher rule, it's mine. Riley is easily distracted, at home and at school. The less the better in her case. I've talked with the teacher at the beginning of the school year and she informed me that she does not allow show & tell or toys in the room. I have to respect that and work from home to help enforce both the rules. In Riley's case, it's more a case of melting down when she doesn't get her way, no matter the circumstance.
ReplyDeleteI think there are other issues in play, such as peer problems in a new school. I think my plan is to calmly tell her that I will speak with her about the problem when she can calmly look at me and have a conversation. And then ignore the tantrum until it's over.