Strong Savvy Girl and Divine Intervention

Those close to me on Facebook were able to follow our adventure yesterday.  For those not on there, here's the low down.

Monday night around supper time, while I was embarrassing myself at Zumba for the first (read:  last) time, Savannah was home starting to feel rather yucky.  By the time I got home she was in tears.  But anyone who knows my Savvy knows that she tends to exaggerate her aches and pains.  Just the way she is.  Something about the pain, and the tears, however, seemed legit.

I examined her with my limited knowledge, and determined that a "wait and see" approach was necessary.  She had abdominal pain, nausea and a headache.  And generally felt really bad.  Flash forward to Tuesday morning, and I walked down the stairs to find a crying Savvy laid up on the couch, where she had been since just after 5 a.m.  I sent her to bed to rest, and checked on her periodically.

About 10 a.m., she started with the fever.  Still had the other symptoms, but more pain, and 102° fever.  The fever is what made the call for me.  I've never had any child have a fever with a stomach virus, and she still wasn't vomiting or anything else nasty.

So off we went to the urgent care doctor in the nearby small city of Virginia, and the doctor there did his exam.  He suspected appendicitis, and told me to head on over to the emergency room.  The ER doctor also had the same exam results.  The CT scan she had a few hours later confirmed their suspicions:  appendicitis with a leaking appendix.

Thankfully, the surgical team had been given a heads-up before the CT scan was even performed.  The same surgeon that did my vein surgery back in November was the one on-call for Savvy, and I was thankful that I knew him and knew he'd do a good job.

Savvy's recovering well this morning.  I stayed at home with the kids, since I still have a little booby vampire that likes me close in the bed at night, and Jesse stayed with Savvy.  Her pain this morning was down to a 1 on the chart, after a dose of morphine at 11 p.m. last night and a night's sleep.

Here's the divine intervention part.

Last week we had a little scare with Jed.  Yeah, follow me if you can.  I'll try to keep it simple.

Jed has ear infection.  -->  Jed takes amoxicillin.  -->  Day 8 of antibiotics, Jed breaks out in head to toe rash.  --> Jed is determined to be allergic to the meds, put on different ones.  -->  I come home and research amoxicillin rash, and find out that it can be an indicator of mononucleosis.  -->  Savvy has had all the symptoms of the very contagious virus, mono.  -->  I take her in to get tested because we have a birthday party planned for the weekend and I didn't want to spread germs. -->  She has strep test, monospot test, and a complete blood count workup.  All normal.

Now we're back to yesterday at the ER, where the doctor has done a urinalysis and another CBC to test her white blood cell count.  The reports come back that she did have some white blood cells in her urine, and the blood test showed the levels to be on the upper range of normal.  But it's also normal for kids to have higher wbc counts because of all the stuff their bodies fight on a daily basis.

The doctor wasn't convinced just based on the lab results that she had a serious infection.  BUT (here's the cool part ... ) she had a CBC just last week that was "normal".  And I thought, hey, I'll have the clinic fax over her results from last week so we can compare the two levels a week apart.  Last week, the count was 7.7.  Yesterday in the ER, up to 13.

I'm convinced that last week's motherly paranoia was a God-send.  I'm also thankful for high fevers that got my butt in gear and got her to the hospital before the appendix ruptured.  Because it was already leaking, and five times its normal size.  Rupture was imminent.  God is good.

God is so good that he designed her little body to be able to wall off a leaking infection to keep it from running rampant in her gut.

I'm simply humbled at His great design, and thankful for that little nagging voice in my head that said, no demanded, that I get her to a doctor and soon.

Convicted

I find there is little more in this life more humbling than getting your hand slapped by The Almighty.

A few weeks ago, at my wits' end, I was practically crying in my husband's arms after a long day at home with the heathen horde.  "Why are they so disrespectful?!  Why does it take me saying something ten times to get them to even listen, and why do I have to yell to get results?!  What is wrong with the children?"

Jesse just patted my back and said that things will be okay and we'll just continue to pray for God to help change the kids' characters.  And it helped, knowing he was here for me.

Flash forward to yesterday, Sunday, at church.  We've been going to a parenting and discipline class in Sunday school.  The discussion was Anger vs. Action.  It was in this class that God smacked me in the head.

Part of the class is watching a video clip from Dr. James Dobson's "Focus on the Family" parenting series.  The scenario in the acted example on the screen hit home.  The mother, issuing empty orders to her child to put away the toys, get ready for bath time, bed time is near, and then going back to whatever she was doing while the child ignored her really hit home for me.  Because it's the same one-act play played out every day, all day in this house. 

Part of the class is watching a video clip from Dr. James Dobson's "Focus on the Family" parenting series.  The scenario in the acted example on the screen hit home.  The mother, issuing empty orders to her child to put away the toys, get ready for bath time, bed time is near, and then going back to whatever she was doing while the child ignored her really hit home for me.  Because it's the same one-act play played out every day, all day in this house. 

I've joked that my instructions to the children are not even considered valid by them until I've said demanded it at least three times.  Each time I tell them something to do (yelled it at them), whether it be put on their shoes to go outside or get busy on chores, I get increasingly agitated that they didn't obey the first time.

And yet, I tell them once again, and then again, to do what I said.

Well, back to the God-smack.

I realized in class that there was ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH MY CHILDREN.

They are behaving exactly as I've trained them.  The problem is ME.  I've conditioned them to not listen to me, even when I get angry, and yell, and YELL and threaten and have my own blow-ups.  

Anger isn't parenting.  Parenting is action.  That's what finally clicked with me.  I can't discipline my children when I am out of control in my own personal realm of irritation and frustration.

James 1:19-20 (NIV) reads:  "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."

It was easy to think that there was something "wrong" with the character of my children, when in fact, the problem was in my parenting.  I have been angry for a very long time.  And not righteous anger like Jesus dealing with the moneychangers in the temple.  Angry at the nerve of my children to disobey and disrespect ME, and how dare they do this to ME?  

I've been yelling empty demands that only invite disobedience, not saying what I mean with a cool head and thoughtfulness.  And definitely NOT following up my instructions with actions quickly.

So, where are you?  Are you in the same place I find myself?  Feeling out of control with disobedient and defiant children?  I would encourage you to humbly pray and ask God to show you how YOU can change YOUR parenting.  Hey, maybe you're great at this parenting thing.  This tirade probably isn't for you, and thanks for reading.  But it was a soul-changing moment when I realized that I have to parent my children, discipline and train my children, in a thoughtful, on-purpose, and ACTIVE way. 

No more issuing empty orders three to ten times.  It means taking time to not get agitated that they are detracting from the things that I want to accomplish, and instead, focusing on my own action to train them properly.

Less anger, less yelling, and a lot more action.

Oh, and lots of prayer.  That too.

Time Flies ...

... I guess I should say that time flies when you're having fun.  But really, time just flies when you have five kids, homeschool and work on renovating a house.

I can't believe it's been a whole year since my little Jedidiah was born.  Weighing 8 pounds 6 ounces when he was born, our "wee" man is now a whopping 26 pounds!

Don't mind the rash on his face.  He was on a round of antibiotics and the rash tells us that he's allergic to penicillin and can't have it anymore.

I'd like to say that I hope to blog a little more regularly, but I've got a mudroom project going on and very little time to spare between that and raising these five hooligans.  Hopefully, I can work ten minutes of blog time into my day, because I certainly miss doing it.  Here it is June, and this is only my second entry this YEAR!!

Anyway, enjoy the quick pics, and maybe I'll get back over here soon.  Have a good one!

Jen and the fab fam